Tuesday, July 26, 2011

a bummer of a scientific conclusion

Whenever I wax philosophical as I did in my last post I begin to wonder, "Am I dying?" Really. A lot of times I think, "What if this blog entry is my last? What if my final words to my posterity are about my toenail polish?" And then I recall the legendary wisdom of Ferris Bueller: "You're not dying, you just can't think of anything good to do."

We have reached that point of the summer, folks. We're vacationed out. We've done the pool, the rollercoasters, the popsicles, the recreational reading of fiction. I think it's time to pack it up and return to Utah. We have not reached this decision easily.

For those of you who were unaware, I base all of my decisions on the conclusions of extensive scientific research and the polling of my sisters as we sit by the pool. It should come as no surprise to anyone, then, that I have created the following chart to determine the true end of summer:

Using Olivia's hair color as my guide I have monitored our progress through the stages of summer. Yellow=Let's get this party started. Chartreuse=Independence Day. Green=Time to go home and make a meaningful contribution to society.

Well, our bell tolled this morning. As I brushed out yesterday's French braid I observed that Olivia's hair had progressed from chartreuse to full on leprechaun green overnight. See for yourself:


I guess it's time to go home and resume those activities that we associate with the non-summer seasons: learning, cleaning the stove, bathing on a regular basis, and knowing what day of the week it is. We'll see you Friday.
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Tawny said...

Of course... You'll be home friday?! and we will be out of town and I can't even offer to help.

But i will start wearing down my path next week as soon as you say i can, cause I am feeling a little buried and need to bask in the glory of "Green" hair! (Love the Chart. And because I am very inexperienced with blonds....Is this what i can expect from Jacks Hair?)
Can't wait to see you.

Hurst Family said...

Ah yes the summer of green hair. I remember the days (I used to go pretty blonde when I was a kid).

Hope your trip is uneventful and speedy.

Naomi Mae said...

:-( stuck in party mode here. To think you were only 4-5 short hours away, so close and yet so far!
Have a safe tripmhome! Good luck!

Meegan, the Evil Stepmother said...

I have not laughed so hard in a long time. This is problematic because 1) I'm trying to get Gabriel to bed and he thinks he's missing the party and 2) the ibuprofen wore off and I'm not fully healed, so...ouch.

But this post is AWESOME. You are my hero. You should just come straight to Logan so you can be a good influence on me.

Meegan, the Evil Stepmother said...

BTW, knowing what day of the week it is is HIGHLY overrated. :-)

Marie Says Yes said...

"am i dying?"
muh-ha-ha! you and i are a match made in heaven.
i have read too many anita stansfield novels (yes, i confess it) and often, if i have a wise or joyful moment, wonderful if my spirit knows something i don't. like: death is imenant.
i just made up that spelling, by the way.
secondly, my hair went green EVERy summer. i heard the other day soaking it in lemon juice will help.
you're welcome.
thirdly, YAY! YOU'RE COMING HOME! we will eat french toast together after all. oh happy, happy day.

Jenn said...

Ummm, yah! Can we come over to visit today????!!!!