Saturday, March 26, 2011
Saturday, March 19, 2011
Here are some other things I've tried this week:
- yelling at my kids
- yelling at my husband
- flipping people off in traffic, even though my car has a peace sign on the back window
- eating an entire box of Hot Tamales
- eating an entire box of Samoas
- getting my hair dyed
- pulling weeds
- writing a strongly-worded letter
- calling the How's My Driving 1-800 number to complain about another driver
Unbelievably, none of these tactics are working.
I've discovered one thing that does work: talking. I finally had to do the unthinkable and unload, I mean, confide in a friend (hi Jenn!). She sent some excellent advice of the sort that made me cry and realize what I really need to do (be forgiving and pray).
My parents are getting a divorce. (I figure since I finally told my kids, I can tell my three devoted readers.) I'm too cheap for therapy. This is where you guys come in.
Maybe what I'm really looking for here is an excuse to dance with reckless abandon.
How do you guys deal with pent up anger?
In other news, Chancho tried to "move the park" this week:
The park didn't budge.
And I babynapped the cutest baby named Jack:
Monday, March 14, 2011
We decided to take advantage of all of this extra daylight that the time change "saved" us and take a Sunday drive. Usually these little excursions turn into me yelling at the kids to stop smacking eachother or get back in their seatbelts or something, but yesterday's drive wasn't too bad. There was minimal yelling on my part and we drove through Gunlock at the most beautiful time of day (in my opinion)--right around sunset.
The weather was perfect. I wanted to skip rocks but I couldn't bring myself to mess up the water, so we took pictures. In hindsight, I wish we had made Tess wake up from her nap in the carseat.
I think I'm a pretty lucky girl. I know it's not Thursday or anything, but the majesty of God's creations have reminded me about everything for which I am thankful:
a husband who is patient and kind despite my backseat driving
children who are healthy and can do tricks
a mom who is basically a saint and inspires me to try harder and be forgiving
a Tahoe which didn't run out of gas despite the low fuel light being on for like 30 miles
five sisters who maintain my sanity
the Samurai 21 Geisha roll
one word: spring
two words: spring break
six words, one of which is a compound word: In and Out animal style cheeseburger
I think I know where we're going for lunch today....
Thursday, March 10, 2011
one square sheet paper which is cute on both sides
one dowel, painted to coordinate with your paper
your hot glue gun which has been missing since 2008
one bag of Vanilla Creme Wafer cookies
one pair of child's safety scissors
To begin, eat some cookies while staring at your paper and wondering why you signed up to help with the Relief Society birthday party in the first place.
After you've come to terms with your own idiocy and general lack of craftiness, make a dot in the exact center of your paper.
Cut the paper diagonally from each corner, a half inch away from your center dot. Be sure to use child's safety scissors so that this portion of the project is as tedious and frustrating as possible. Make a mental note to buy a pair of real scissors.
Think, "Crap. I should've plugged in my hot glue gun before I drew my dot or cut my paper."
Plug in your hot glue gun and then use your free time to make a dent in the cookies.
You'll know when your glue gun is ready because it will smell amazing.
Glue every other corner wedge part onto the dot in the middle of the paper. This portion of the craft is easier is you employ your third arm. If you don't have three arms, make do with the two that you have and vow that if you're ever in charge of designing life forms they will be equipped with enough arms to do crafts without swearing!
While enjoying the smell of hot glue think, "So this is why so many Mormon women are into making crafts...."
Glue a button onto the middle of your newly-formed pinwheel.
Arrange your pinwheels on your countertops and then take a picture. Notice that you have two critically brown bananas in the bowl behind your mixer and like five books that you need to return to Tawny.
Glue a dowel onto the back of your pinwheel and arrange it in a flower pot leftover from the ward Valentine's dinner. Think, "I either need a smaller pinwheel or a larger pot, and I don't even give a crap."
Take a deep breath and blow on the front of your pinwheel. When your own hot cookie breath comes blowing back at your face from your unmoving pinwheel, vow to never again volunteer to be crafty.