A few weeks ago I got an e-mail from a guy, who for privacy purposes we will call The Wizard of Oz (since I've never met him and I'm not entirely sure he really exists), asking if I'd be interested in writing a humor column for a local news website every week. Since he didn't ask me for my credit card information and the website appeared legitimate I said, "What the hey." Actually, I wrote something else. I don't remember what I replied, except that it was almost physically painful for me not to use emoticons in the e-mail.
So...I started writing a "humor" column. Please note my liberal use of the term "humor." Being asked to write humorously is a lot of pressure. It's one thing to write about current events--you just write about stuff that happens and hope that you get your facts straight. Writing humorously is kind of the opposite. The facts aren't so much an issue (or they are and I just don't give a crap), but being witty is something that is difficult to do on command. I feel like I have a guy shooting a gun at my feet and yelling, "DANCE!" I feel like I was a decent dancer before, but the gun's making me nervous. Is this simile too complex?
You guys oughta see what I wrote this week. I'll probably put a link on here when I write for the website, since every week my mom asks me how to find it. (Just trying to make things easier for you, Mom!)