Wednesday, August 10, 2011

Wherein I am liberal with the colons:

I hope you're sitting down:

I KNOW. I bet you've never seen such a huge pot of Ramen. I think it was ten bricks. I'm sure you're thoroughly impressed and are probably wondering why anyone would want to, I mean NEED to, boil up such a gigantic cauldron of noodles. Well, we've had company. And that's *just* how classy I am.

I know you're tripping all over yourselves to come for a visit now. Well. The fun doesn't stop there. While we were in Dallas, my hometown acquired one of these...

In case you were wondering, it doesn't do that thing like on Mary Poppins where you can go bounding off into the horizon with Dick Van Dyke. What a disappointment. Do any of my St. George friends know if this carousel is a permanent fixture? Or is it going to disappear mysteriously like Zuka Juice did?

Here's an unrelated question, but those of you who are my friends on Facebook will know from whence this thinking has sprung: If you feel that our government has kinda gotten too big for its britches and want to pare down the crazy spending and programs and stuff, where would you start? Which program would you cut first? For real. I'm curious. If you like having a large government which spends more than it earns, I don't want to know what you think here. Sorry. Maybe you can comment on the Ramen thing.

One last thought. Tonight I went to a spin class with my sister-in-law Sheree (before you get all "Ooo, Elise is all healthy and goes to the gym and likes to rub it in on her blog and stuff" know this: I am about to eat at least six large chocolate chip cookies. And it's 10:46 PM) and my sister Monna had an awesome idea: Why aren't we harnessing all of the power generated by the world's stationary bicycle exercise classes? You know, like on Gilligan's Island? At the very least, we could use it to power the air conditioner: like the faster you pedal, the harder the A/C blows. It would be inspiring. What do you think? I'm no scientist, but I think Monna's onto something here.
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Naomi Mae said...

Monna is amazingly brilliant here! Patent that puppy!

Second as far as the ramen thing, awesome! My mom adds cabbage and suddenly it is all fancy and oh la la!

Third, government.... Argh! First thing I would do is stop the crap about " you have to use your whole budget, or you lose it next year" crap. In the "real world" people are rewarded for saving money and cutting costs, in government people are punished for it! Stupid! Also coming from Washington I would stop the governors "trips" to japan just because she decided to invent a "sister city" there so we could pretend to be all cultural and jazz. When in reality all we have is a maleness garden and a gov who flies to japan a few times a year on tax pagers money! And the fact that she gets her car washed TWICE a day by state troopers is ridiculous! Really, their salaries couldn't be better spent in something constructive, like I don't know.... Stoppinng reckless driving that causes numerous crashes in and around the Capitol!

Ok, just a few ideas... I'm just spitballing here, but I would rather have a business man as president, who knows about cutting costs and the bottom line, than another politician who has had to "save his budget" by over spending! Go Mitt!

Enough politics? Ok, you should know not to mix politics and blogging Elise!

Meegan, the Evil Stepmother said...

1. Monna is a freaking genius. Forget hydrogen power. Go spin classes! In fact, we should take a cue from the Flintones. I'll start. I'm thinking about keeping Dharma under the sink as my "garbage disposal," which has the added bonus of containing her shedded hair. Seriously. Lowell has NOTHING on her.

2. I'm going to not comment on cutting the federal deficit, because given the state of my finances, that would be hypocritical. But I do wish I could vote to give myself a pay raise, work 60 days a year, and routinely raise my "debt limit."

3. Ramen. Yum. There must have been a lot of kids. :-)

Meegan, the Evil Stepmother said...

And. . .I deliberately avoided that thread yesterday. I knew it would make my head explode. :-)

Anne said...

Mikey says cut the EPA first.

Snowfire said...

I would cut EVERY program 10%, including the military. I would close down bases in Europe and in Africa, reduce foreign aid by a MINIMUM of 25% across the board. I would also mandate drug testing for welfare recipients and increased enforcement on unemployment requirements (actually check to see if they applied for 5 jobs/week).

I would also increase taxes on American corporations that ship jobs overseas. A call to your Indian customer service center would be a $2000 tax...per call. I would also encourage investment in new tech infrastructure like hydrogen fuel stations to replace the gas stations across the country. This would be done through tax breaks and grants. That would create jobs, construction, tech, engineering, service, etc. But I'm just a dumb welfare receiptant...