Thursday, December 3, 2009

Bull. HONKY.

I would like to take a moment to address the people who built the house that I live in. Actually, I only have one thing to say to you: I will see you in hell. Because surely that is where all builders go who put carpet in a bathroom. They convene there with other builders--the ones who decided to position the A/C filter at the top of a vaulted ceiling.

(You may be wondering what I will be doing in H-E-double hockey sticks. As I was scrubbing the entire tube of toothpaste that DJ squoze* onto my bathroom carpet out of my carpet, I unleashed a string of profanities that would make Ralphie's dad proud. I'm not excited about going to hell, but it will be worth it when I get a chance to slap that builder in the face.)

Also, a note to those of you who told me that boys are easier to raise than girls: bull. HONKY.

On the bright side, my house smells minty fresh!

*Squoze is a word. I dare you to challenge me on this today.

8 comments:

Davis' said...

oh no! Elise, I am so sorry. I feel your pain. We have tile in the bathrooms but the closet off my bathroom is carpet and there is carpet way to close to the kids bathroom. Hang in there, boys actually do get easier than boys. it just takes some time.

Meegan Alfred said...

Man between the tree and the toothpaste...rough week!

Kathy Habel said...

I'm not sure that boys get easier. I think it's personality dependent.

Jenn said...

I know who built your house...and I have some quams to settle too, can I come with you to H*E*double hocky sticks!

Marie Says Yes said...

you are so funny. honestly. so, so funny.

Anonymous said...

If you think that the tooth paste is in your carpet just because you have a boy I would just like to share a bit of information. Jocelyn (my dear sweet girly) has not only scrubbed down my entire hallway with bodie's bar soap, spread an entire bottle of shampoo all over her, the carpet, and the TV, but has also decorated her ENTIRE ROOM with the contents of her potty chair. Atleast your house came out of that one smelling minty fresh, Jocelyn's room still doesn't smell right. Also if you know how to remove marker, pen, and crayon from walls, closets, and tile grout I could use that information. I do have to say though, my little Jocelyn has great artistic abilities.

Elise said...

Jeane-

Magic Eraser, Magic Eraser, Magic Eraser! I cannot emphasize this enough! It is MAGICAL. It takes crayon off of anything and makes grout sparkle. :)

AggieMay said...

Ok so you don't know me- and I don't know you either. I'm a friend of Tawny's and found your blog through hers. ANY WAY I want to tell you Thank you. I have had a rough day and your blog made me laugh so hard I cried (must have needed it). I thoroughly enjoy your writing style and sense of humor. I think it was the leg lamp that got me. Or the Matey's interview. *sigh* Thanks I needed that.
Hope you find the sunuvagun that carpeted your bathroom.