The scariest thing about this ensemble? She didn't pick it out herself.
Now, down to business. Have you guys ever heard the John Wayne saying "Life's hard; it's harder if you're stupid"? I've discovered this past week that it's a wonderfully multi-purpose quote if you replace the word stupid with, for example, angry. Or grumpy. Or gluttonous.
Remember all of that rage I was feeling last week? Well, by Monday the pent up anger morphed into this black, looming cloud of depression, and by Wednesday night I was fit to be committed. I laid in bed, bawling my eyes out, angry at the world, angry at my dad, wondering what I had to live for, blowing my nose on the corner of my sheets. You think I'm joking? Unfortunately, no. It was frightening. It's amazing how quickly anger can suck the life right out of you.
My husband offered to give me a blessing (because his only other option was to smother me with my own pillow). I brushed him off at first, but he's DJ and he persisted. Because of the personal nature of the blessing I won't share too many details, but I had this realization: I was allowing myself to feel unnecessary anger and pain. That is what the Atonement is for. That is why our Savior did what he did--so that we don't have to feel that pain. I was reassured that I will never be abandoned by my Heavenly Father. The dark cloud lifted and all of the pain and anger went away. Just like that. It was truly a miracle.
And do you want to know the most annoying thing about this whole scenario? I already knew. I know about the Garden of Gethsemane, the cross, the tomb, the empty tomb. How is it possible to forget something so fundamental? I guess because I've only ever applied it to my life in terms of me being a sinner, not me needing to be healed.
And do you want to talk about divine timing? My parents' divorce was finalized the next day. I think that someone in heaven is aware of my needs before I am.
The take-home lesson? Don't waste your life away being angry. If you want to waste your life away, start watching Lost on Netflix.