Saturday, March 19, 2011

Kevin Bacon has all the answers.

Does anyone know where I can find a big empty warehouse, a cassette tape of "Never" by Moving Pictures, and someone to teach me how to do a dramatic flip off of a high bar? I have some pent up anger and it keeps coming out in all of the wrong places. The only viable solution I can think of is to dance it off Kevin Bacon-style.


Here are some other things I've tried this week:


  • yelling at my kids

  • yelling at my husband

  • flipping people off in traffic, even though my car has a peace sign on the back window

  • eating an entire box of Hot Tamales

  • eating an entire box of Samoas

  • getting my hair dyed

  • pulling weeds

  • writing a strongly-worded letter

  • calling the How's My Driving 1-800 number to complain about another driver

  • crying

Unbelievably, none of these tactics are working.

I've discovered one thing that does work: talking. I finally had to do the unthinkable and unload, I mean, confide in a friend (hi Jenn!). She sent some excellent advice of the sort that made me cry and realize what I really need to do (be forgiving and pray).

My parents are getting a divorce. (I figure since I finally told my kids, I can tell my three devoted readers.) I'm too cheap for therapy. This is where you guys come in.

Maybe what I'm really looking for here is an excuse to dance with reckless abandon.

How do you guys deal with pent up anger?

In other news, Chancho tried to "move the park" this week:

The park didn't budge.

And I babynapped the cutest baby named Jack:


14 comments:

Tawny said...

As I was driving away I said to Nick. "She looks more like his Mom than I do". So I am glad you like each other!!
Sorry about your folks...sucks.
Did you really call one of those driver complaint numbers?? awesome!!

Meegan, the Evil Stepmother said...

Dude! Chanco is wearing SHORTS AND FLIP FLOPS! That's it...I'm coming to visit. Then we can comfort eat together with reckless abandon.

The Paxton Family said...

Ok, so monday or tuesday night I am taking you out to a bar and we can have as many shirley temples and roy rogers as you want! then maybe we will turn the chili's karaoke night into our own personal version of kevin bacon's dance off (which by the way worked for west side story too) but i think we'll both need a new pair of adorable leg warmers for ourselves first ;-)

Julie said...

I ate a whole box of Samoas, too, and now I know why. Sympathy eating. Incidentally, our stupid Girl Scouts now call them "Carmel Delites", but I will always call them "Samoas". Really sorry about the lousy news.

Shorter family said...

I'm so sorry Sister Abe! My parents divorced when I was 12, so I know the pain. Hopefully this week will be better for you, you deserve it!

Roth Family said...

Sorry to hear about your parents. You always find humor in your weeks though, and for that I am grateful because I get to have a good laugh. Hang in there.

Jenn said...

Seriously...you obviously have way more than two readers. You are ever so humble. I too would like to dance out some aggresion, I maybe could shed a couple pounds that way too.

I'm impressed that you talked to the kids and I am curious as to how it went.

...maybe you should take the peace sign off your car, does it make you an oxymoron?

Marie Says Yes said...

hm. i don't like this news for my friend elise.

you should definitely be flipping people off. you are justified. that must be so painful, and i am so sorry. i am sorry you have to be angry. i'd be angry, too. i am sorry. this is the stuff i still have nightmares about, even though i'm not a little kid anymore.

hm. i wish i could make it better for you, my dear friend that i really feel is a dear friend even though i've only met you one glorious day at costco and otherwise all the love is sent via blog. i really wish this would go away in your behalf.

i haven't experienced this; but from the crappiest part of my life, the only thing i know to tell you to do with true, deep, overwhelming hurt and a most personal level of anger is keep trying. it will start to ebb eventually. from what i know of it, it will also suddenly appear out of nowhere even years down the road, but this is not something to be afraid of. it will quickly go away and is the only reaction possible with something of this enormous sucky magnitude. you will be able to forgive. remember it is a process and not an event.

i really do love you, buddy. hang in there.

also, kevin bacon always helps. he's sort of cute in his own special way, and that commercial of his is very funny.
and keep the peace sign. you still want it. you are worthy of it.

Davis' said...

I'm sorry Elise!! I go to Zumba! (want to come??) or run or cry!
good luck. just do something that makes you happy, or do something for someone else, then maybe the anger will go away.

Cathy's Blog said...

Just so you know I ate a couple of boxes of Samoa's and have been angry for the last 2 years (different reasons obviously) and have done most of the stuff on your list except eatting Hot Tamales and pulling weeds and I am not going through any of what your going through. My recent upset is my job and that is not that big of a deal. Well it was to me but you know! I run that is how I deal with it. One thing though Elise you have every right to feel angry and you need to allow yourself that so you can forgive and get over it. I am sorry that your family has to go through this! I do agree forgiveness will help you but give yourself time and cut yourself a break!!! I love you Elise!

molleelamb said...

So sorry to hear about your mom and dad. That hurts and I hurt with you.

You asked what we, your faithful readers, do to deal with lots of crappy stress... I run, or ran until I started being a milk wagon for a very cute baby boy.

Now I lose myself in his giggles. I shut the whole world out and just enjoy these "Mom Moments". Sometimes it's giggles, sometimes it is when he finally falls asleep on my shoulder. Lucky for you, you have several providers of"Mom Moments" in your house.

Anyway, whatever that moment is, losing myself in it is my new stress relief program. I'll go running again soon enough.

Anne said...

I'm so sorry Elise- I wish I could make it all disappear....

Hurst Family said...

So sorry about current life crappiness. I DID get your awesome craft- I really DO love it :) I was out of town and made my husband open it the second he told me: super fun. My 3 year old thinks it's pretty cool too.

Kacy said...

It sounds like you tried a wonderful variety of things this week. I am inspired to try some of the same things myself.