Wednesday, February 2, 2011

Another Crisis Narrowly Averted

I almost burned my house to the ground yesterday. I've been feeling under the weather since Sunday night, and since all diets are off when I'm feeling sick, I decided to bake some chocolate chip cookies. For dinner.

I turned the oven on to preheat and while I was in the process of mixing the butter and sugars I noticed smoke pouring from the oven. My somewhat dubious mental capacity was rendered completely dubious at the sight of eight inch tall flames inside my oven. My fatigued, achy, illness-ridden mind went blank. I opened the oven door, and...have you guys seen the movie Backdraft? Me neither, but I think you get my drift. Poof! Bigger flames! At least I had the sense to turn the oven off. I turned on the vent fan because it was becoming unbearably stinky. Then, I slammed the door shut and watched, stupefied, as the flames grew taller and more intimidating.

I was stumped, so I called DJ (he's my go-to pyrotechnics guy). He suggested spraying it with the sink sprayer, since we had determined that this was not a grease fire, and was caused by the remnants of the (entire tray of) cupcake batter that I dropped upside down in the oven on Sunday.

Meanwhile, Macey shouted, "Everyone down!" as she dropped to the floor, the other children crawling behind her in a single file line toward the front door, beneath the billowing smoke. (Thank heaven for our public school system.)

I doused the flames with the sink sprayer, which created a lovely sauna-like effect in my kitchen, and shut the oven door to let nature duke it out. Water versus fire versus cupcake batter. To the death.

Then I got on Google to see what I should have done, but the internet only made me feel like a moron. My instincts had me do the opposite of what I was supposed to do, just like that time I cut my finger open and flailed my hand around because of the pain (a.k.a. the worst possible method of stopping the flow of blood).

Anyway, another crisis narrowly averted.

In other news, I have an announcement (no, I'm not pregnant):

Are you in need of free children's clothing and junk? Do you have piles of old children's clothing and junk that you think someone might want? Do you like to eat free treats?
You are in luck!
My friend Naomi is hosting a Children's Clothing and Junk Swap at her house this Saturday. It is a mostly all day affair. Come by, drop off the clothes and junk that you don't need, and if you see anything you like, it's yours! Free! And there will be treats! At least, Naomi promised treats. We may end up having to raid her fridge.
Call me if you're interested. If you don't know my phone number, email me at eliseylinna (at) hotmail (dot) com. It's going to be awesome. (Who doesn't love free stuff?)


Jenn said...

I'm so glad that you didn't burn the house down, AND I am sorry that you have been under the weather. That Sucks! If if makes you feel any better, I set a pizza box on fire in my paren't oven once!

So we are blessing Jacob on Sunday and I am hoping that my parents will be in town, so I may have to skip the junk swap. Besides I got rid of all my junk during our Christmas money yard sale in November, so I wouldn't have much to contribute! Otherwise, I would so be there! I DO love free junk!

The Paxton Family said...

hahahaha! Sorry about your cookie/oven fiasco! You crack me up, i don't know ANYONE but you who craves cookies when they are sick! And here I was going to bring you soup and saltines! ;-) I know better for next time!
Thanks for the post about the swap, for some reason I have been struggling to find a way to explain it, and you typed it out perfectly! So much for my inane babbling!

Marie Says Yes said...

ELISE!!! i am glad you are alive. whew!

"everybody down"!??! hahaha. that is so awesome. thank heavens for oldest children.

and once i also almost burnt my house down via the oven. i had a brand new oven, and felt domestic. i turned it on as i started mixing muffins. flames shot up everywhere. flames, smoke -- similar theme here.

i didn't take out the plastic, styrofoam, or instructions.

i'm really special,