Uniforms You Can Believe In

I think I've finally interpreted that IHOP dream that I had. I think that I'm subconsciously feeling guilt over spending too much time blogging, eating pancakes, and shopping. I subconsciously feel like I'm neglecting my children. It's funny because, if I'm neglecting my children for anything it's homework.

It's also funny because I Hate shopping. With a capital H. Italicized. There is nothing in this world that I dread more than having to sift through rack after rack of clothing to find something that is A) flattering B) inexpensive C) makes me feel like Goldie Hawn. It's such drudgery, and usually a fruitless effort for me. I very rarely find anything that makes me feel like Goldie Hawn. This is why I only have three outfits in my rotation.

I think it's high time we adopted the uniform system like on Star Trek. You know how on Star Trek each planet had a unique jumpsuit that set them apart from people from other planets? You could tell who the bad guys were right away because their outfits were really dark and organic looking. The good guys were always spiffy and crisp. We need an Earth uniform.

I shouldn't be in charge of our uniform because no one is as passionate about flip flops as I am. This is where you come in. If we were to create an Earth uniform, what should it include? I think I'm going to make one of those voting things and you can vote on it. Even you readers who never leave a comment should vote. We really need to pull together on this one, guys. Uniforms you can believe in!

[Oh yeah! Speaking of inefficent, disgruntled government employees-- you know how I hate checking my mail? (I never ever...ever check my mail.) On Friday my mail man exited his mail truck, walked all of the way to my house from the cluster box down the block, pounded on my door, and gave me a lecture about how I should check my mail more often. The nerve of that guy! I mean, he walked all of the way over and didn't bring my mail!]