Mawwaige! Mawwaige is what bwings us togethah today...

For the following post, I will turn my sister's wedding into a story all about me. Me, me, me. Welcome to my blog.

Last week my little sister Marianne, who is old enough to vote but not yet old enough to gamble, announced that she was going to marry her fiance Frank on Monday instead of in November. (I just call them by their celebrity couple name, MariFran.) Since I'm no good at photography, setting up chairs, or being a deejay MariFran asked me to make their wedding cake. Technically I've never made a wedding cake. However, I have baked cakes and then frosted them and I've been to a few weddings. That's about it as far as my baking credentials go.

Naturally, I agreed eagerly because I am a moron. I spent all day Sunday breaking the Sabbath and baking cakes (and reading Catching Fire). Monday morning I rambled on over to my dad's dance hall to frost some cakes. Let me tell you, frosting cakes takes five things: 1. A long time 2. Eight bags of powdered sugar 3. An entire thing of shortening 4. My mom's expertise 5. One bag of peanut butter M&M's and 6. One animal-style cheeseburger from In 'n Out.

I cannot emphasize the time factor enough. We did not have enough time. Here's my mom checking her watch. It was like 3:00 at this point. The wedding was at 4:00.

We frosted our butts off.

And then I skedaddled on home to comb the chunks of food out of my kids' hair and bring them back for the wedding, but not before I got stuck behind this guy on Snow Canyon Parkway, where the speed limit is 40 mph:

This is when I forced Marianne to pose with the cake monster before the ceremony: "DAB NABBIT, hold still or so help me I'll never let Carrie take you to the dollar store EVER AGAIN!":

This is my son. His official name is Darrell. His nickname is D.J. but his unofficial nickname is Chancho. It's complicated; that's why he's so depressed. One of my favorite things to do to drive D.J. nuts is play with his ears. Can you blame me? Look at how voluptuous and pink and fuzzy they are. I can't stay away from them. I love this little guy's ears. He'll probably need therapy one day.

"Mawwaige. Mawwaige is what bwings us togethah today...":From this angle it looks like MariFran got married in a quarry, but it was actually a beautiful setting, especially once I got there. Aren't Marianne and Frank cute?