Tuesday, March 9, 2010

Vegetable Suicide Intervention

First, a little business. I need to announce the lucky winner of the rest of my bag of M&Ms. And the winner is...

My Short Aunt Cathy!

Sorry, Readers, but the winner wasn't chosen randomly. You should know me better than that. I chose the winner based on the following four factors: 1. Does his/her husband repair my car when it breaks? 2. Do I feel bad for calling this person short? 3. Does this person send me neat pictures via e-mail? 4. Is this person awesome? If you haven't done any of those things, then you know why you haven't won. (I mean, you may be awesome, but has your husband fixed my car? EXACTLY.) And next time you'll think about it before you try to win, won't you?

I don't have anything to say today, other than that I need to clean out my refrigerator. In the last two months I haven't gone near my fridge other than to retrieve chocolate syrup and milk. It's pretty frightening in there; that's why I don't visit often.
This overwhelming need became apparent to me last night when I was attempting to make dinner and I retrieved THREE separate bottles of KC Masterpiece that each had roughly one and a half tablespoons of barbecue sauce in them. While I was rooting through the condiment shelves I also found a bottle of liquid smoke that I had forgotten about and a jar of cloudy green juice that used to have pickles in it. I know that on the bottom shelf, in the very back, there is a bowl of tuna salad that could probably be donated to science. I haven't seen it in a while but I know it's there, unless it left the fridge of its own accord. I wouldn't blame it. Anything that had to spend its days next to DJ's giant pot of Beef Brisket Stew Concoction would be begging for death. I fully expect to open the door one of these days to find a head of romaine dangling from a piece of spaghetti. Vegetable suicide.
Anyway, that's what I'll be working on today. Happy Spring Break.

9 comments:

Meegan, the Evil Stepmother said...

RIGGED, I tell ya!

OK, I would rig it so Bill's wife would win, too...you know, just to stay on his good side. Unless she doesn't share, in which case this could really backfire on you...

Kathy H. said...

I'll give her an entire bag of M&Ms if her husband can tell me what's wrong with Suburban. We're heading to CA in 6 hours and I'm a little worried it might not make it there and back.

Kathy H. said...

Oh and at least you buy vegetables!

Michelle said...

You posts are so funny! (Look, I am not just stalking your blog anymore!) :) Good to see you the other night. Thanks for the laughs...

Marie Says Yes said...

my fridge also has problems. it just... doesn't... clean... itself. and it never bothers me, either, until my mother-in-law (whom i love) opens it.

Cathy's Blog said...

Yes, Yes I do deserve the said M&M's for all the reasons you mentioned. But you left out the one very important rule of this game which was to come up with some factoid about your grandparents for which I did. Meegs, I know you came up with one too but mine was obviously better, so HA! (I knew them a lot longer so I had a better chance) So thank you for the much deserved prize M&M's!!
Oh and yes I will share with them with Bill because he is the greatest mechanic on the planet and he is so darn cute!!!

Cathy's Blog said...

Oh and by the way I cleaned out my fridge last week and found many science projects growing in there. I always feel like once the fridge is clean I can finally fill it with healthy food. This usually lasts only a few weeks and then we are back to the left over surprise.... meat cake, could be meat could be cake

Elise H. said...

Meat cake! HA! That is SO funny. I found a few things like that today--i.e. "Could be tuna, could be potatoes," or "could be cheese, could be an alien life form."

*MARY* said...

Oh, so that's why I didn't win the M&M's. I'm the exact opposite of your qualifications, my husband is constantly breaking your car and I send you messy photos via pony express.