Thursday, October 29, 2009

H1N1: The Truth Exposed

When infected with swine flu you will experience fever, sore throat, runny nose, fatigue, and perhaps the following:

You can sleep for hours and hours without your wife shoving you off of the bed.

You can smell like you desperately need a shower (sorry, DJ).

You may experience the desire to watch idiotic hunting videos on YouTube.

You can eat a Big Ed and drip melted ice cream all over your shirt.

Your wife may bring you a warm bowl of alphabet soup and a big hospital mug, left over from one of four c-section hospitalizations, of ice cold water.

At least, these are the symptoms that I've observed in DJ who, according to the doctor, is 'suffering' from H1N1. Don't misunderstand me, it doesn't look pleasant. However, from what the news programs have described I was expecting something a little more Black Plague-ish. This Swine Flu has been grossly disappointing. What a lame pandemic.

I have quarantined DJ to our bedroom with the instructions to stay in bed and try not to touch anything. (This is mostly for my benefit. Having him home during the day has totally thrown off my groove.) I'm also trying to keep him a safe distance from Tess. I don't know why. Tess has pretty much been living the H1N1 lifestyle from day one--laying around, fussing, being fed on demand. Maybe I'll try to catch the swine flu.


Marie Says Yes said...

May you become a part of this lame pandemic soon. (Wait... is that the wish you want me to wish for you?) Glad survival is ensured!

Kathy H. said...

We had it a couple weeks ago. So much hype and it just didn't live up to the hype. It was just a regular flu.

Jewels said...

that went through our house like wildfire! Thankfully it is all over and hopefully it won't come back!