Did you miss me?

I tried to write the nutshell version of what we've been up to for the last month and it almost put me in a coma. And comas are no laughing matter. So, here's the abridged, condensed, pulp-free, nutshell version, which I also ran through a cheesecloth:

1. We drove from Tennessee to Utah. This required us to load our van onto this fancy U-haul dolly. Here's the only picture that I got of our rig. This was a pit stop in New Mexico, whose motto is "New Mexico: You'll like it more than you think."

2. We got to St. George and saw this guy on the freeway:
(I apologize if he is your friend/brother/cousin/husband. I feel the need to repent for taking this picture. Sometimes when I see people, my mind immediately begins to wonder why they do the things that they do. Like this guy. Is it chaffage? Is he trying to get rid of his farmer's tan? Is he just enjoying the breeze? I hate not knowing. I think if you're going to ride your motorcycle like that, at least have the decency to wear a sandwich board with a full explanation painted on it.)

3. Like three minutes after we pulled into St. George the fuel pump on my Tahoe broke. I would like to talk for a minute about God. I don't talk a lot of religion on my blog, but I would like to point out how my car made it from Utah to Minnesota to Utah to Minnesota to Tennessee and back to Utah this summer before this $300 car part went kaput--a half a mile from my awesome mechanic uncle Bill's house. Coincidence? I think not. You know that quote about coincidences being miracles wherein God has chosen to remain anonymous? Well. Thank you, Father in Heaven. I know it was you.

4. Macey is going through the Mandatory Horse Loving Phase, which, if you couldn't tell from the title, is mandatory for little girls age five through twelve. We listened to General Conference on some AM radio station, went for a drive, and stumbled across this farm:

5. Speaking of Macey, she gave Olivia a haircut with my kitchen scissors. I had to cut off seven inches to even it out. Macey may one day make a full recovery.

6. We moved into a new house. I unpacked things that have been in storage for five months and I haven't thought about them once, including:

• half a bag of Frosted Mini Spooners.
• a broken bowl
• really ugly clothes that I haven't worn since 2005
• a stack of Dan Brown books that my sister-in-law loaned me two years ago
  

7. Crow's feet. Crap. When did that happen?! Judging by the picture, sometime before New Mexico.