Friday, November 6, 2009

Throw out your dead!

When DJ and I entered into this bwessed awaingement six years ago, I never EVER would have envisioned the following scene:

The curtain goes up and we see the Haynes living room. Swine Flu, Day Nine. All six members of the family are crowded and sprawled out onto two couches, their hair matted to their heads. Tissue wads and and used dishes are everywhere, Baby Einstein is on the TV on repeat.

DJ: "Macey! Quit digging your toes into my back!"
Elise: "Why does it smell like feet in here?!"
Macey: "Can I do Barbie dot com? Can I do Barbie dot com?" (Repeat 400 times.)
Olivia: "UhhhhuuUUUUuuuuhhhhhh............" (That's Olivia melting.)
Chancho: "Happy birtday, Mommy." (He's still celebrating my birthday, sweet boy.)
Tess: "............" (Tess screamed herself hoarse on Day Seven.)
Elise: (thinking) "Why is everyone BREATHING so LOUDLY?! And it still smells like feet!"
DJ: (thinking) "Maybe I should open a fishing lodge in Alaska...YEAH! I should!"
Elise: (hearing DJ's thoughts) "No, you shouldn't!"
Chancho: "Happy birtday, Mommy."

I am so DONE with this flu. We had bacon and Halloween candy for dinner the other night. And if I have to watch Baby Einstein one more time, so help me, I will rip my own eyeballs out with a rusty fork.

The End.

Or is it?

P.S. I promise, this is my last flu-related complainy post--cross my heart, hope to die. No, really. HOPE to DIE. See ya next time!

6 comments:

Roth Family said...

So sorry! Kiersten has been sick all week. Crazy enough, the rest of us have not got it. We all had the H1N1 vaccine. I say wahoo for the vaccine. My brothers family all get it and we were together. Who knows! Good luck. Get better.

Kathy H. said...

Oh man sorry you got it so bad. Hope it ends soon!

Marie Says Yes said...

oh, buddy! that is the worst thing I've ever heard! i really, truly hope everyone starts breathing quieter immediately!!! and this is your blog, complain as much as you want to. we'll listen.

Jewels said...

So very sorry that you have to go thru the misery of being sick when your kids are sick...yuck! Hopefully it will be over soon!

Jenn said...

Oh Crap, I have been off the planet for some weeks now and this is the first I have heard of this Haynes Swine Flu Hullaballu! What a Horrible Perdicament! I wish I had known earlier so I could have....ran for my life...I mean, brought you dinner!

I really, truely want you all to be healthy...are you healthy yet??

Rachel Smith said...

shesh...that sounds bad. I really hope you got rid of the feet smell!
...no, I really hope you guys get feeling better! bacon sounds good right now!