You may have been wondering where all of the pictures have gone. I know I have. My camera is broken, folks! Nothing to see here! Literally! So anyhoo, I've been subtley hinting to DJ that I would like a new camera for my birthday. I'm not sure whether he's caught on yet. I may have to do the unthinkable and actually ask for one. Yikes. Here's what made me think of this, though-- I was scrolling down through my blog and I noticed with alarm that a lot of my more recent pictures, which I ripped off of the internet, are a tad REDNECK for my taste. That's right... REDNECK. And it got me thinking...am I a redneck? ARE WE REDNECKS?! I broke into a cold sweat. There's a picture of my unshaven husband posing with a "monster elk", a PREGNANT BELLY, a wrecked minivan... How did I let this happen?!
So here's what I'm thinking. I'm going to compose a little list here of our non-redneck qualities to see if I can give myself a little comfort. We'll see. Here goes, wish me luck.
1. I like to play classical music on the piano, especially Chopin.
2. My family listens to me play Chopin on the piano. Kind of against their will, but whatever.
3. We live in a subdivision in which we are not allowed to have cars on blocks on our lawn.
4. We wear shoes most of the time.
5. I have never seen DJ in a sweat-stained white tank top. Thank heavens.
6. I only have a few country music CDs but they are the good ones.*
7. While I do enjoy a good rodeo, I have no idea what is going on most of the time.
8. We all smell fairly decent. Right?
9. We don't have an accent. Except for DJ, who insists on saying theater "theATE-r".**
10.We can't sing "Eighteen Wheels and a Dozen Roses" by heart (okay, maybe the chorus).
11. I am a terrible bowler.
12. We get our workout at the gym. Not tipping cows.
13. To the right you'll see a picture of the barbershop quartet that DJ paid to sing to me for Valentines Day. Note that they are wearing actual tuxedos. Disregard the handlebar mustache. (It was the classiest picture I could find. It was either this or something from Disneyland.)
I'm not even going to go into a list of our redneck qualities because I'm sure it would frighten me. Not that there's anything wrong with being a redneck. I'm sure they are nice people. Just like I'm sure there are plenty of nice Wells Fargo customer service representatives. They are out there...somewhere.
So my birthday in is a week or so. Here's hoping that I get a nice shiny camera so that I can document how classy we are in real life.
*Garth Brooks Greatest Hits
**He also says the word sit "set". It's cute. His mom did it, too.