Thursday, September 22, 2011

Hi. I'm Tonje.

I wash my laundry and then I wait a week to fold it. If you follow the same laundry schedule I do, you will have noticed that somewhere around day three, laundry congeals and conforms to the shape of your hamper.
Heads up, on day nine your laundry will crawl out the door, hitchhike south on I-15, and get a job at the Bloomington Walmart, where it will provide mediocre customer service.

For the past few weeks I've been a really bad housewife. I enjoy my job as a mom. Sure, the labor is menial, the salary is nonexistent, and the hours are ridiculous, but I get to MAKE PEOPLE. I mean, come on!
It's the housewife part of my job that I've shirked lately.

Up until two or three weeks ago, I found quite a bit of satisfaction in running my home. I usually enjoy having a tidy house, planning and cooking meals, and being able to boss everyone around. Not lately. Lately I find myself asking questions like this aloud: "What's that on the carpet? A cockroach? Or a really old olive? Do I care?" And we've covered the laundry situation.

Somehow the fire under me has been snuffed out. Am I having a mid-life crisis?! AM I GOING TO DIE WHEN I'M 62?!?! Maybe I need a new hobby. Maybe I need give more service. Maybe I need to be more grateful.

One thing's for dang sure, I need to act fast before I turn into this lady:

(If you're like me and you rarely click on these things, allow me to offer you some incentive in the form of bribery: I will personally bake, decorate, and deliver the cake of your choice if you can name the initial on the white-hatted gangsta rapper's giant necklace at 1:51 AND be the first to mention it in a comment. Yes, this is a test.)

I saw this video over the summer and filed it away in my mind under "Things That Are Blog Worthy" and then immediately forgot about it because I accidentally misfiled it under "Things That Are Not Dorky" and I never open that mental file, obviously. But this weirdo Norwegian lady popped into my mind this week.

Eight years ago I made the decision to be a housewife. Actually, if I'm being honest, I made that decision a long time ago....

I've kind of always wanted to be a "crappy housewife," as Tonje so eloquently puts it. So what's my dealio? I need to find some motivation, I think.

Rewatching that spectacle of a video is actually quite inspiring. If I choose to abandon housewifery, this is my other option? A nearly abandoned discotheque at what appears to be three o'clock in the afternoon? I'm suddenly looking forward to scrubbing my toilets.

Published with Blogger-droid v1.7.4


Davis' said...

"T" I saw it on his necklace.

Naomi Mae said...

In this my friend, you are not alone. I've completely lost my mom/housewife/wife mojo.
I did find this super awesome series of posts from that deal with the same type of feelings. Maybe it's something about fall and the fact that we all used to "go back to school" and now we send others and do nothing...

P.S. How's the writing coming?

Oh and also, I don't remember what I was supposed to look for, but Mak has been singing "I don't wanna be, I don't wanna be a crappy housewife" all night now. So thanks for that.

Tawny said...

Ok so I have an idea. Crappy housewife or not you should be a sexy housewife and we should go to the salon... YES. if you have already gone than seriously sista hook me up with a name so i don't end up looking like "return of the Dead" housewife!! Because lets face it I have NO Connections.

P.S. Swiss Days tomorrow, y'all should go so we can Accidentally run into each other, wave and then run away chasing our various progeny:)

Jill said...

Can't read the initials on the necklace - sorry. But, I loved this post. I used to blame it on my kids. Now, they all have homes of their own and it's just me and my sweetie and although my house does stay nicer for a longer period of time... it still gets messy. I've been in a slump the last couple of weeks but I'm no inspired. Thanks - I enjoyed your post and I'm glad Marie told me to start reading it. - Jill (Marie, your blogging friends mom)

Marie Says Yes said...

crappy housewife? you are speaking my language. because that is what. i. am. boy have i excelled at shirking my duties lately!
i, too, am on the planet of "keep the kids alive and happy and let the cockroach suffer in peace."
is this wrong?
let me just say, if this is wrong i don't want to be right.

i'm so fond of you, elise.

Marie Says Yes said...

p.s. holy cow, that is my mom! my mom comments on your blog and not mine! awesome. but let's face it, you are very cool.
for real, the end.

Cathy's Blog said...

I saw "T" too!! ME WANT COOKIES!! Ok so I didn't say it first I still want the cookies!!! I have to say that is a most riveting video!! I think being a "CRAPPY" housewife is a choice and you my dear aren't one!!