Speaking of...

Hell hath no fury like a Chancho scorned. Feast your eyes on Chancho's Grumpy Face. It may turn out to be less charming when he is a teenager, but for now I adore it. It's one of the few things he does on command.

Speaking of doing things on command, I have an announcement. I have been officially summonsed to court for my driving-around-the-school-bus infraction. I've been commanded to appear at 9:30 Monday morning. I'm considering depriving my children of breakfast and taking them to court with me, just so the judge gets a good idea of the conditions I was driving under when I committed the offense. Maybe I should also bring a Super Soaker to simulate the rainy conditions.

Speaking of committing an offense, the tornado siren went off last night. At first I thought, "What the devil is that obnoxious squealing?!" I stepped onto the deck and beheld that the trees were blowing horizontally on the lawn and that leaves and debris were falling upward; not good omens. Also, it was five p.m. and dark as night. I reacted calmly and rationally, remembering the two most important things to do in an emergency: 1. Text everyone you've ever met, and 2. Make your kids get in the bathtub. To make a long, action-packed story short, there was no tornado in Hopkins. Apparently the town of Hopkins is a little siren happy. Also, the siren also goes off in case of flooding and there was flooding downtown (getting in the basement when I hear the siren=no longer my first choice). There was the threat of a tornado, however--but that also happened last week.

Speaking of things that should have happened last week, we're moving to Nashville next week. DJ's whole office is moving and whither they goest, we go. I'm liking the idea of living in the country music capital of the world. What if I meet Jack Johnson?! I know he doesn't sing country, that was just an honest question. I would love to meet Jack Johnson.

Speaking of Jack Johnson, one of my favorite songs of his is "Gone." Here are the lyrics:

Look at all those fancy clothes / But these could keep us warm just like those / And what about your soul? Is it cold? / Is it straight from the mold and ready to be sold? / And cars and phones and diamond rings, / Bling, bling, but those are only removable things. / And what about your mind? Does it shine? / And are there things that concern you more than your time?

I love this song. If you've never heard it, I recommend it highly. That, and "Banana Pancakes"--both to listen to and to eat.

Speaking of cars and phones and diamond rings, my husband is in a sales contest at work and he is kicking some serious sales booty. He keeps winning stuff. So far he's won an iTouch, a pair of fancy headphones that he gave to one of his coworkers (Skull Candy? All I know is they are way too awesome for the likes of us), a $200 gift certificate to an overpriced online clothing store, and get this--a motorized longboard. (I don't know what that is, but I can tell you my grocery shopping just got a lot easier!) Tonight he's in the process of winning an iPad. If he wins the iPad he moves on to the Jeep round. If he wins the Jeep round he goes on to the Camaro round. You heard me: Camaro. Naturally, if he wins the Camaro I'm going to make him sell it to pay off our debt. But it will be fun to drive until it sells. Maybe I can get a skanky miniskirt (and a tan) and pretend I'm that girl in Transformers. Oh wait, I just remembered I'm not cool. Crap.

Speaking of crap...just kidding, I'm done.

(Now, take a 2 minute, 14 second vacation. You deserve it.)