The harder I try to be cool, the dorkier I am. See those jeans? Those are Girbaud jeans. They had a little white tag right on the fly, that's how come they were worth sixty dollars. (My parents are better to me than I deserve.) I wanted with all of my 11-year-old heart to have voluminous bangs like the cool girls (coughMONNA!cough). I squirted and squirted them with Rave Super Duper Maximum Hold Hairspray. I couldn't pull it off. (Clearly, the problem was in the asymmetry. I see that now, eighteen years later.) The bolo tie certainly didn't help my cause. Aaaannyway...
I'm done. I'm not even going to try to be cool anymore. It never works out. It's expensive, impractical, and when you take the Rave into account, bad for the environment.
What brought all this on, you ask?
I don't know.
Maybe finding this on my camera.