If your ward executive secretary calls you on Saturday night and asks if you will give the opening prayer in Sacrament meeting the following morning, be sure to ask him the following questions:
1. I'm usually ten minutes late--does that matter?
2. If not, are you cool with me giving the prayer from the foyer?
3. Is there going to be a Senator in attendance?
I would never have thought to ask question #3 until this morning. When I showed up at Sacrament meeting to give the opening prayer Senator Orrin Hatch was sitting on the stand. I came this close to pretending that I forgot something in my car and driving to Disneyland. (That rhymed.) The executive secretary would never find me there because I know a great place to hide in New Orleans Square. I pulled it together, though, and said the prayer. (That also rhymed.)
After a nervous, shaky-voiced prayer I sat down by DJ. As we sang the Sacrament hymn I had a revelation. (Yeah, I know. I should've been thinking about the Atonement. I was distracted by the fact that I should've ironed my clothes.) I remembered a video I saw of Senator Hatch this past week. You can watch it here. Needless to say, I wish I had remembered the video before I froke (that's "freak out", past tense). It brought me a lot of comfort.
(P.S. Brother Hatch's talk was very good. Here's a memorable quote: "Atheists look at God the way bank robbers look at policemen." It doesn't rhyme or anything but I thought it was pretty good. For a smart man he sure didn't rhyme very much.)