Monday, September 15, 2008

Viper Venom Shmiper Shmenom

I only have two items to discuss today. One is an amusing anecdote. The other is a complaint about grout. Let's start with the anecdote, shall we? So my middle child Olivia has been doing this thing lately where she asks us the gender of everything in sight. For example: "Mom, is Elmo a boy or a geeoh?" and "Mom, is grandpa a boy or a geeoh?". She then added to the options: "Mom, is Barbie a boy or a geeoh or a kid?" I think that she thinks that when you're under the age of 12 gender doesn't apply. Fine by me. The biggest surprise came a few weeks ago. She's going through this Wall-E phase and she asked me, "Mom, is Wall-E a boy, or a geeoh, or a kid, or binoculars?" I love kids.

Item number two: why is grout so FRIGGIN' HARD TO CLEAN?? I promise to keep this brief. The former occupants of our new house were apparently people who cooked a lot of greasy food and then ate it directly off of the grout. This made moving in really gross for me, but thanks to Clorox and my trusty yellow cleaning gloves we can walk on our floor without feeling the need to be vaccinated. Anyhoo, this afternoon I pulled out this dusty bottle of grout cleaner that a friend gave to me. It's called Viper Venom. Sounds like a scum and filth KILLER, right? Like, you sprinkle that stuff on the floor and you expect to hear a hissing, bubbling sound and envision a microscopic Lord of the Rings-style battle going on in the grout. I think whoever named that stuff must have been reading a lot of science fiction novels or inhaling a lot of fumes. I was a little underwhelmed by it's performance. I spent longer than I care to admit scrubbing my grout this afternoon. That's time I could've spent eating cookies. Reading books. Learning French. After working up a sweat and probably burning 300 calories, I came to this conclusion: Do I really want to look back on my life and remember a lot of cleaning? Do I want my children to remember me as someone who was bent over the tile, cursing under her breath like a truck driver? NO! I'm getting off of this computer, I'm loading my kids in the car and we are going to do something REALLY memorable! Like go to Target and eat a soft pretzel!

1 comment:

Rachel Smith said...

YOU are funny, you really should be a writer...I have a great should right books about Vampires and Werewolves...You could make MILLIONS!! DO IT!

Your a great mom elise...even if you cuss at your tile